Looking After Yourself
Amid the funeral arrangements, paperwork, and phone calls, it's easy for your own wellbeing to slip down the list, or disappear from it entirely. There's no deadline for this one, no form to fill in, but it matters just as much as everything else on this list.
There's No Right Way to Do This
Grief doesn't follow a fixed timeline or a predictable pattern. Some people find themselves needing to stay busy with practical tasks; others feel completely unable to face them. Some days will feel manageable, others won't, sometimes without any obvious reason why. None of that means you're grieving wrongly, there isn't a wrong way.
A few small things that others in similar situations have found helpful: eating regularly even when you don't feel like it, getting outside for a short walk, going easy on alcohol and caffeine if sleep is difficult, and not putting pressure on yourself to "be strong" for everyone else around you.
Reaching Out Is Not a Weakness
If you have people around you, letting them help, with a meal, a lift, sitting with you for an hour, can take a genuine weight off during the practical whirlwind of the early weeks. And if you don't have that support close by, or find you need more than friends and family can offer, that's exactly what the organisations below exist for.
Where to Find Real Support
These UK charities and services specialise in bereavement support, and their guidance goes into far more depth than we could here:
- Marie Curie — practical guidance on sleep, eating, and coping day to day while grieving.
- Mind — mental health-focused support and self-care ideas for bereavement.
- AtaLoss — a UK-wide signposting service that helps you find bereavement support local to you, including specialist services for specific kinds of loss.
If you're finding it hard to cope, or grief feels like it's affecting your ability to manage day to day, it's worth speaking to your GP too, they can point you toward local counselling and support services.
Related reading: How to Be There for Someone Who Is Grieving